i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
