I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
