I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
