but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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