I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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