Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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