I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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