i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
