some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
