I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
