Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
So. Much. Porn.
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