I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
