i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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