Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
