Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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