but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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