i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I want a musical about memes.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
