then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize