So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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