so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
