No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Randomize