I got chris browned last night
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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