yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
