So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
