you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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