your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
