Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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