sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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