Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
