I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
