My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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