I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
