After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
