if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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