lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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