Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
