I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
