we have pet lesbian snakes
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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