Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
