you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
