So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
