so that wasnt chicken after all
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
