btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And then he peed in my hair
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
