I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
