i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize