Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
