I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
