wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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