She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
