I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
