maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
