I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
there is glitter all over my balls
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