One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize