Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
