yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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