I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
FUCK WHALES
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
