This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
