I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
