Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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