nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
