is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
