im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize