No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Fuck appropriateness.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
