question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
