return my video game
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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